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*** OFFICIAL PHOTO PORTFOLIO *** PROUDLY AMATEUR *** I BUILT THIS MYSELF *** SELECTED WORKS COMING SOON *** AUTHENTIC 90s HTML *** THANKS FOR VISITING ***

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World’s Worst Photographer

worstphotographer.com · my proud little corner of the web for sharing my favorite shots (I stand behind every pixel)

NOW FEATURING: EVEN MORE PRIDE PER MEGABYTE

>> every photo here is a personal best (according to me) <<

~~ welcome to my portfolio & visitor counter ~~

YOU ARE VISITOR NUMBER

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(verified traffic) (important for my brand)

Total page hits: ---

Artistic breakthroughs this week: 0

<blink> Site last updated: April 9, 1999 </blink>

Optimized for immersive viewing at 800×600 · 256 colors · cursor effects enhance the mood (please do not disable; it is part of the work)

Sign my guestbook!!! | Add to Favorites | Email this page 2 a friend | View source (hacker)

Webmaster: webmaster@worstphotographer.com · Title: Chief Amateur Photographer (self-appointed, unpaid)

The portfolio — statistically my least embarrassing frames

Below is a curated grid, which is a fancy way of saying I deleted the ones where my finger won the framing war. Love these shots anyway; please squint with the same misplaced confidence I had when I pressed the shutter. Click any photo to see it larger, as if that helps.

STUDY I — Surfing, briefly—then swimming, loudly. Shutter caught the career change.

STUDY II — Portrait mode forgot to clock in; the baby’s cute, the pixels are guessing

STUDY III — Surfboard from the floor—no ocean came to set; contrast did all the heavy lifting

STUDY IV — Baseball night out: two fans, one shaky crop—half the scene, the rest is blur and hope

STUDY V — Night fireworks: all sparkle, zero discipline—handheld chaos with good intentions

STUDY VI — Bus-window tourism: the scenery’s a smear, the tripod’s a fairy tale

STUDY VII — Brim in 4K, athlete in potato—wardrobe got the promotion, physics got demoted

STUDY VIII — Volleyball timing off: ball and hitter on different schedules, same bad meeting

STUDY IX — Carrot on the ground—still life, still side-eyeing your produce standards

STUDY X — Water sharp; everything else can take a number and wait in the blur lobby

STUDY XI — Tongue at maximum deployment; dignity still looking for parking

STUDY XII — Fish mugshot: scales, attitude, and a restraining order against the lens

Artist statement (please read slowly)

This site is my personal portfolio—a polite term for “evidence I go outside sometimes.” I am not a professional; professionals have invoices, I have enthusiasm and a delete key that sees heavy traffic. I wanted a homepage that feels timeless, so I picked a look that whispers “Netscape” and screams “I typed this myself and nobody could stop me.”

My work explores light, shadow, and how far you can push a JPEG before it files for emotional damages. If something looks odd, call it intention. If it looks like a mistake, call it still intention—I have pride, standards, and a very flexible definition of both.

Credentials & cold hard facts

Self-published monograph: Shutter, Speed, Regret — print run sized for people who enjoy optimism and shelf space
Residencies: couch (ongoing), sidewalk (seasonal), produce aisle (one confused minute, no awards)
Peer review: my phone said “storage almost full” — interpreted as praise for productivity
Technical stack: RAW in, questionable decisions out; editing style best described as “spirited”
Mission: share what I saw, blame the rest on artistic vision, repeat until it sounds true

Site note: Static page, zero uploads—just vibes and JPEGs. Not a studio; not even a shed. A mood with a domain name.

Testimonials

“I showed Mom; she said they’re very nice.” — My Sister
“That’s a photo. I can confirm.” — Aunty Bev
“We’re proud of you, sweetie.” — Mom
“Better than your phase with the lens cap on.” — Uncle Ray
“I’m putting one on the fridge.” — Dad

Visitor guestbook

>>> LEAVE A MESSAGE!!! <<< Say hi, tell me your favorite shot, or share a kind word about the site. For longer thoughts, please use email —I read everything (eventually).

Get in touch

Questions about a photo, a print idea, or just want to say you visited? I am not running a studio—this is a personal site—but I love hearing from people who clicked around: hello@worstphotographer.com
Response times depend on snacks and Wi‑Fi.

~*~ welcome to my portfolio & visitor counter ~*~